Really Very Extremely Highly Important Not-To-Be-Ignored E-mail
I got an e-mail today with the subject: Highly Useful Tools for Truly Serious Writers.
If an e-mail’s subject line is supposed to catch one’s attention, then this one was successful, but it was successful in the wrong way because I only focused on the subject line and didn’t pay any attention to what the sender was trying to sell me in the body of the e-mail.
Maybe I’m being too much of a nitpicker, but is a Highly Useful Tool that much better a tool than a regular, old-fashioned Useful Tool? As someone who hopes to one day think of himself as a writer, am I making a mistake and wasting my time by looking for Useful Tools for writing when I should be looking for Highly Useful Tools for writing instead?
Maybe I’m jumping the gun here as far as tools are concerned altogether and I should be starting with a Tool and work with that until I’m comfortable and then move to a Useful Tool before I move right into a Highly Useful Tool? Haste makes waste, you know, and I have no desire to waste time or tools.
And the Truly Serious Writers mentioned in the e-mail subject line, who are they? Are they better writers than Serious Writers, or the common everyday Writer? From time to time I put words down on paper, or virtual paper, but I have some difficulty really thinking of myself as a Writer. And now, because this e-mail was sent to me, I’m supposed to think of myself as not just a Writer, or a Serious Writer, but a Truly Serious Writer. I don’t think I’m there yet.
This whole e-mail subject line has left me feeling confused and looking for my correct writing label and corresponding tool and that’s not a good place to be. I’m confused and at a loss as to where I really belong.
Who am I? What’s my label? Where’s my niche?
Color me perplexed.
What color is perplexed? I’m guessing it would be a shade of purple because of the first syllable, but what else? A Truly Serious Writer, one who employed Highly Useful Tools, would know.
The usbject of this email you got would have the same effect on me.
It’s like those books “What an intelligent woman/man needs to know”. If you’re an intelligent man, you’ll make sure to be far away of such a book.
“What color is perplexed? I’m guessing it would be a shade of purple because of the first syllable, but what else? A Truly Serious Writer, one who employed Highly Useful Tools, would know”.
A “spicy” great sense of humor as always.
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