Skip to content

I don’t mean to be a pane, but . . .

June 23, 2021

After I read this RDP prompt I thought about the last time I wrote about a window. It was after I threw my new clock out the window. I wanted to see time fly.

Ba-dum-tsh

Did I ever write about the time I entered a competition for home window installation? I smashed it.

Ba-dum-tsh

I’m done now, but before I go I’ll just leave you with this inspirational quote: $750 off all windows in your home with free financing until 2025.

Ba-dum-tsh

Thank you. I’ll be here through the weekend; tell your friends and try the mock-veal. (Don’t eat real veal, it’s not nice)

My computer:

The rewrite

June 21, 2021

Love is like a fine and tasty meal; you have to season it just so, and with not too heavy of a hand.

Julie crumpled up the sheet of paper, tossed it on the floor and said, “Seriously, Paul, this is absolutely horrible and… and it may be the worst first line I’ve ever read and… and I can’t believe that you actually think an editor will accept a simile like that… or that anyone wouldn’t ask for their money back after reading that love needs to be seasoned ‘just so’”.

“It’s just a first draft, and there’s always the revisions and—”

“Forget revisions, how about the ‘re-I-should-tear-this-up-and-think-of-something-else-ions?”

“You’re a harsh critic, my dear, but I love you like a pan seared salmon filet with a well-seasoned beurre blanc and candied parsley.”

“You and your beurre blanc are making me sick my tasty meal love!”

For Girlie on the Edge‘s Six Sentence Stories for June 20th.

PROMPT WORD: SEASON

Random Thoughts #39: worms

June 21, 2021

What’s the sense behind the proverb of the early bird getting the worm? I’ve read that there are thousands of species of worms, and that there are billions of them living underground – more than there are visible stars in the sky – so I think a robin that sleeps in a little longer and gets a later start on breakfast still has a pretty good chance of getting as many worms as his early-rising neighbor in the next next over.

Ok, so maybe the ground is wetter and softer in the early morning, but that still doesn’t mean that a more relaxed birdie won’t be able to get worms.

Love’s solstice

June 20, 2021

From Charli Mills at the Carrot Ranch is this week’s challenge.

June 18, 2021, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story that features a solstice. What is the era and setting? Use the solstice as a celebration, metaphor, or talking point. Go where the prompt leads!

Love’s solstice

The body knows when we’re in love. Hands, like magnets, pull and accidentally touch. Shoulders brush when preparing a meal or sitting on the couch. Bodies pass closer when walking through a narrow hallway.

A smile that last longer than necessary because the mouth and lips, they feel and know.

Love guides not just our hearts and souls, but our bodies.

I’m not sure when our smiles started to fade or when our hands decided to go back to holding things instead of each other.

Or when we stopped talking.

It happened while neither one of us were watching.

###

I wanted to try and write something that didn’t take ‘solstice’ literally. So like days get longer and then shorter, I thought about a love that grows and then fades. I don’t know if it makes sense or not.

Gotta dig

June 20, 2021

Today’s word from Cyranny is TREASURE.

I like anagrams, and whenever an idea doesn’t come to me quickly after reading a prompt word (and sometimes even when it does – which it sometimes does) I turn to anagrams.

So treasure made me think of pirates or love and I didn’t want to write about either one so I looked for an anagram and found Rear Suet.

Rear Suet.

Or “Fat Ass”.

Mirror, mirror, beautiful glass, please don’t tell me that’s my ass!

So now – even though it’s cloudy and rainy and thunderstorms are on the way and it’s Sunday and I’m comfortable at the computer and I suddenly have all sorts of “Treasure” things to write about and I know I have something on DVR that I HAVE to watch, I have to go to the gym.

On the cover of Bill Watterson’s “There’s Treasure Everywhere” book there’s a Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin is digging a hole and he tells Hobbes that he’s looking for buried treasure. When he tells Hobbes that he’s found some rocks and dirty roots and worms, Hobbes breaks into a big smile and marvels over what Calvin has found on just his first try. “There’s treasure everywhere,” says Calvin.

Who better than Calvin to remind us of what it is to be human.

I miss Calvin and Hobbes.

What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer? A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.

Irrelevant observation

June 20, 2021

For RDP Sunday: GLEAN

In a not-too-distant past, I used to spend a lot of time with the news. TV, radio, print, it didn’t matter; if it was newsworthy, I checked it out.

Then the news changed – or maybe my perception of the news changed. Print had started to become a little opinionated and television was more about sensationalism and personalities (think professional wrestling) than news. Radio was still ok because a lot of it was story-driven, but there are better things to listen to on the radio than news.

So here I am. Now I glean what news I see from the headlines of community newspapers by the exit door of the grocery store, or during the minute before or after the local weather, or from online headlines I might see next to the Twins box score, and the occasional overheard conversations of coworkers.

I figure if there’s any news that’s actually newsworthy it’ll make it to me somehow.

I’m not sure if not watching the news is a good thing or a bad thing. What I am sure of is that some coworkers like to talk a lot.

If you’ve gleaned anything from this that’s good. Please leave me a comment and tell me what’s going on in the world! 🙂

Burn

June 18, 2021

It’s Friday which means we burned through another week.

We burn a lot of things in life. Candles, time, rubber, money, love letters, incense, food. If you handle an iron like I do, then clothes. What else, I’m at a loss.

I’m thinking I don’t really have anything that makes my soul burn with a passion. I have some stuff, but not the kind stuff that you read about in poems; that makes you want to get up in the morning and stay up at night. I’m wondering now if that’s something to feel sad about.

For RDP Friday: Burn

Right now I have a dirty bathroom so I’m going to go burn a few calories cleaning.

I’m not much of a list maker when it comes to music, but if I was then Deep Purple would be near the top.

Summer afternoon

June 17, 2021

The first kiss came on the roof.

She turned back to me after watching the frisbee land on the roof of the garage.

“Nice throw, man,” she said.

“The wind caught it.”

“Or you’re just a lousy frisbee player.”

We both looked up to the frisbee that was lying halfway up the garage roof. “Now what?” I said.

“Well, you put it up there. The rules say you go and get it.”

“What rule are those?” I said.

“Mine!”

“How do I get up there?”

“Ask the wind to catch you?”

If anyone else had said that I probably would have gotten mad, but Amy Edwards wasn’t anyone else. Amy Edwards was beautiful.

It was an old, low garage and I could just reach the bottom of the gutter if I stood on tiptoes. I figured a little jump would allow me to grab the gutter and pull myself up and onto the roof.

“Will the gutter hold your weight?” Amy was apparently able to read my mind.

I walked around to the side of the garage and tested the white picket fence that separated the Edwards’ backyard from their neighbors. It was old and a little wobbly, but I thought it would hold my weight. I put a foot onto the fence and balancing myself with one hand on the side of the garage lifted the other. From here I could get both hands onto the roof and it was just a little jump and a pull and I was up. Crouching against the angle of the roof I walked up to the frisbee and picked it up. When I turned around Amy was standing behind me.

“Hi,” she said and sat down.

I sat down next to her and handed her the frisbee.

“I’ve always wanted to climb up here but never had the courage,” she said as she handed the frisbee back to me.

“It’s nice,” I said. “Being above everything.”

“Yeah.”

“Probably get a better suntan, too, being closer to the sun and all.”

She looked at me and laughed and I felt the wind catch me. I handed Amy the frisbee and that’s when she kissed me. She really was able to read my mind.

“So, how do we get down?” I said.

“Ready to jump?” she asked.

And I was.

###

For Ragtag Daily Prompt Thursday: On the Roof

Have a cup

June 16, 2021

My grocery store has a Caribou Coffee inside and they have a small blackboard above their menu board with a trivia question. I don’t drink coffee but I like trivia so I read the trivia question and that means I have to walk up to the counter and that means the person standing behind the counter asks me what I want. I tell them I’m just reading the trivia question and they say something like “Oh” and go about their business wondering how can someone not order coffee. I think if you answer the question correctly you get a dime or something off your purchase. I never pay attention to that part because, like I mentioned, I don’t drink coffee.

Why don’t I drink coffee? I don’t particularly like it and once it cools down I don’t like it at all.

I used to drink coffee from a coffee vending machine. If you’ve never had coffee from a coffee vending machine, it’s not very good. Even as someone who doesn’t drink coffee, you can take my word for that.

I used to have a Keurig machine. I bought it in an attempt to try and like coffee. It didn’t work. And then the Keurig machine broke. Maybe if it would have lasted a little longer, maybe even just a week or a day, I would have changed my mind about coffee, but it didn’t, and I didn’t.

Maybe if I lived in Sweden or Norway or something I’d drink more coffee. I think I read somewhere that they drink a lot of coffee over there. Maybe because it’s cold? Maybe they should try hot cocoa?

Keurig sounds like a Nordic word. Of course I don’t know any Nordic languages so don’t take my word for that. The only Nordic thing I know is Nordic Ware which has nothing to do with clothing, but with cookware. And very good cookware from what I’m told.

Just between the two of us, I’m supposed to be writing about Starbucks because I saw it mentioned by this blogger who was inspired by this blogger. But like I mentioned, I don’t drink coffee so I’m never inside of a Starbucks. I drive past Starbucks’ frequently because how can you not?

I guess I really didn’t have anything to say here but I saw this prompt and thought about not drinking coffee and trivia and the ubiquitousness of expensive coffee places. I’m thinking about pizza now but that has nothing to do with any of this.

Thanks for reading 🙂

Sandcastle

June 16, 2021

The sandcastle wasn’t much to look at. Just a bunch of hand-gathered piles of sand stacked into a roughly one-foot mound. No towers or parapets. Just a nondescript lump of sand that looked more like a burial mound than a castle. I finished it with a finger-pinched wall.

I poked a hole in the middle of the sandcastle and placed my worries and regrets inside. Then I sat back and watched the ocean waves creep closer and closer to my worry-castle. I watched the waves breach the short wall and return the castle to the beach. My buried thoughts dissolved into the sand.

I let the waves wash up my legs until I decided it was time to leave.

%d bloggers like this: