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June 14, 2021

The RDP prompt today is “seed” and the first thing that came to my mind is the “Seeduction” bread at Whole Foods. I don’t know if you’re a Whole Foods shopper or not, but I think this bread is good enough to make a single stop for. The only things I can tell you about it is that it has a lot of seeds in it and on it, and it weighs a pound, and it’s tasty toasted or untoasted, and the person behind the bakery counter will slice it for you.

I hope you were comfortably seeded when you read this.

If “seed” was the past tense of see then I could tell you what I seed on a morning walk but it’s not so I won’t.

I will now cede your attention back to you and bid you a pleasant rest of the day.

Painted birds

June 14, 2021

When I got home from work she had been and gone.

I knew that today was the day, but seeing the starkness and the… emptiness of the place when I stepped through the front door was still a shock.

The only remaining furniture was the bed and nightstand, a small kitchen table, and my stereo tucked inside its maple cabinet with my records.

There were no lamps which was ok because even thought it would be dark soon, sitting in the shadows meant I would be spared having to see myself cry.

The refrigerator held a half bottle of Passito Rosso. I took it into the living room and sat on the floor and noticed a forgotten painting of a two cardinals perched on a branch of a leafless oak tree that she had painted for our fifth anniversary. The last remnant of a love lost.

For GirlieOnTheEdge‘s Six Sentence Stories for June 13th.


Just 12 Tables

June 14, 2021

From Charli Mills at the Carrot Ranch is this week’s challenge.

June 10, 2021, prompt: June 10, 2021, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story about a new way to office. Has the office changed? Can we return to normal after big changes or time away? Go where the prompt leads!

Just 12 Tables

The restaurant couldn’t survive the COVID lockdown. I worked in the back of the house as a prep cook. One year out of school with a culinary arts degree and dreams of working hard and one day opening a small place of my own.

Just 12 tables, that’s my dream.

I start my day now by hitting the library to use one of the public computers. I check my LinkedIn. Then I walk over to the House of Charity where I volunteer cooking meals.

With thanks that I’m one of the lucky ones, I say a prayer for tomorrow.

For the dog

June 13, 2021

I used to enjoy the TV show Lassie.

The Lassie adventures started in books and then she jumped to television where the show ran for, I think something like 20 years. The basic premise of the show was that the farm boy that took care of Lassie would get into some sort of trouble. Lassie would find the farm boy and if she couldn’t solve the problem herself, she would run back and alert the adults through a complex series of barks and whines and dog movements; a language that the adults were able to interpret. The farm boy was rescued, and the episode would end with both he and the viewer receiving an admonition on staying out of trouble.

Lassie was a colleague dog and while the character was female, the colleagues that played Lassie were all male. And–

Yes, a colleague. I don’t know much about dog breeds so I don’t know how to describe a colleague as anything other than a “Lassie dog”. I’m sure you’ve seen one before so you know–

Really? Not a colleague? A collie?

Then what’s a colleague? Maybe I’m thinking of something like baseball where a bunch of teams compete together and play in–

Ball league like two words? Are you sure?

Hmm… ok then.

This word colleague
causes intrigue

Misusing it might be a crime
but why is it so difficult to rhyme?

I wonder if that was done on porpoise
or if–

What? Purpose? I think you’re pulling my leg.

Random Thoughts #38

June 12, 2021

The world would spin a little smoother for me if the word “scissors” made sense. Why is scissors called a pair of scissors when it’s just one item and not a pair?

It would make sense to me if each part of the scissors was actually a separate tool called a “scissor” and then at some point in time someone had a genius idea to transform the scissor from a stabbing/jabbing tool into a cutting tool by hinging up a scissor with another scissor and called it “scissors”, but google is not telling me that ever happened.

I remember being happy when Jennifer Aniston was not a pair with Brad Pitt anymore because I thought that maybe I still had a chance. But then some Justin guy came into the picture and I moved on.

So it goes.

D is for drive

June 12, 2021

Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “drive”.

Like everyone else I knew I started training for my driver’s license when I was 15. Classroom lessons in school and then behind the wheel. I passed my permit test and then I practiced in real time with my dad. In reality, he had been getting me ready to drive since I was 12. He always drove VW bugs and so it was in a red bug that I started using the shifter while sitting in the passenger seat. And then in a yellow one or maybe a blue one that I progressed at 13 to actually driving in parking lots. I’m not sure why my dad was so keen on my driving and I’m thinking now that would have been a good question to ask. Live and learn. I failed my first driving test. The instructor said I didn’t move over close enough to the curb when I made a right turn. Whoopie, thanks. I aced the parallel parking part but I guess that didn’t count for anything. I felt horrible after failing but when I learned that other guys I knew also failed I felt better. Misery loves company. I got my license on the second try and that evening I took my parents out for a drive and they sat in the back seat while I chauffeured them around. It was 1969 Buick LeSabre. I drove down some city streets and then hopped on the Crosstown highway and just west of highway 100, right around Tracy Avenue in the wonderful city of Edina (if you want to talk like a Minnesotan then it’s E-DIE-nuh, not Eh-DEE-nuh) there was a loud noise and a huge gray bird hit the front grill and bounced up into the windshield and over the top of the car. My parents didn’t seen to think it was a big deal – they could have been making out back there for all I knew. I wasn’t even a licensed driver for three hours and I had killed a bird. When I finally parked there were remains of the bird, feathers and that stuff, stuck the front grill.

But it could be worse because I had a friend who was driving his brothers around town to celebrate his driver’s license and he wasn’t paying good attention because a car in front of him had stopped in the street because the car in front of them had stopped to let someone out. My friend slammed on the brakes but too late and he drove right into the rear of the stopped car. The force was enough that the stopped car then went into the back of the stopped car in front of them and the person who was just getting out of that first car and was half in and half out of the car went flying and landed on a parked car and then the sidewalk. They suffered a lot of injuries and there was a lawsuit and my friend, only 16, was sort of traumatized by the whole thing and rarely drove again after that. He’d make short trips to the store and stuff like that, but that was it.

And so it goes.

Some years later I was driving fast and listening to music like this and I’ve never stopped.

Pizza. Yum.

June 11, 2021

Years ago there used to be a place in south Minneapolis called The Pizza Shack.

They sold pizza. They sold pizza with single crust, a double crust and a triple crust. They sold garlic bread that came in a basket with three roughly 6″ garlic-oozing and butter-dripping pieces. Of course they sold other stuff that pizza places also sell but who cares about that stuff because it was the Pizza Shack, not the Spaghetti Shack or the Chicken Shack or the Chef’s Salad Shack.

The Pizza Shack was very good.

It didn’t matter what we the group of us had done that night, or who we had done it with or how many of us there were with us, we always wound up at the “Shack” for late-night eats. And it was open on Christmas and Thanksgiving which was nice because after the wrestling matches at the old Minneapolis Auditorium on those two holidays we had a place to go eat after. We had a favorite waitress and her name was Brenda.

The restaurant was popular with the Minneapolis police force and it received national publicity in 1992 after officer Jerry Haas was murdered while he was eating in the restaurant.

After nearly 50 years the Pizza Shack closed in 2005.

There’s your backstory.

I used to have a friend and his name was Ed and Ed invented something called the “Pizza Shack Challenge“. The Shack Challenge was a large 14” triple crust pizza with pepperoni and hamburger and sausage and extra cheese. And an order of garlic bread. Vegetable substitutes like olives or mushrooms or sauerkraut were not allowed because Ed believed they were not as filling as the meat toppings and would lessen the difficulty of the challenge. A beverage was optional.

(Because I like pizza I feel it’s important to mention at this point that Canadian bacon, pineapple and sauerkraut pizza is good)

If a person failed the challenge they would be responsible for paying for the meal. If a person finished the challenge the reward was that Ed would not only pay for the meal but he would also award a cash bonus in the amount of the meal. In case you’re wondering, the cost of Ed’s Pizza Shack Challenge was $12.30 before tax and tip.

So… who wants pizza tonight?

Speed it up, eh?

June 10, 2021

The guys were at the point of wondering what Thursday night poker without Tom might be like. Yeah, they all agreed he was a good guy, and it was only a penny ante game, but he was just so slow to do anything that he really messed with the tempo of the game.

He’d look at the cards in his hand and then a sideways glance at one of the guys. Back to his hand, another sideways glance. Hand, glance, hand glance, and the clocked ticked-tocked on. It was wearing, and as this particular night of Thursday poker was winding down and the guys were starting to think more about going home and to bed than the $5.00 they might win or lose, Rick finally, and not too kindly, said something.

“C’mon already Tom andante up, will ‘ya?”

“Jeez, guys, why so grave?” Tom said. “I’m just trying to get allegro up on all of you.”

For RDP today: “Andante”

Maybe together

June 9, 2021

For RDP: Our prompt for today is “together”. What does the word mean to you?

What “together” means for me is unhappiness because together is pretty much the exact opposite of the way we live on this world. Apart… Separate… Disorganized… Unbalanced… Individually…Disconnected… That’s us.

And when you’re not together then what? Wars… Violence… Thoughtlessness… Uncaring… Anger… Greed… Sound familiar?

Don’t look to me for answers because the only thing I know to do is recognize everyone I come in contact with as the same as me. The same body*, the same fears, the same yearnings, the same suffering. How do I want others to treat me?

Do the people I associate with, and the people I vote for, feel the same way?

“If you hear the song I sing you will understand (listen).You hold the key to love and fear all in your trembling hand. Just one key unlocks them both it’s there at your command.”

* Ok, there are a lot of better bodies out there than mine so maybe this one doesn’t count. But you get the idea.

Finders keepers

June 9, 2021

We’ve all heard different interpretations of what finding money on the ground means: it’s the universe sending us a message that things are moving in our favor, it’s a loved one who has died sending us a message that we’re loved and watched over, it’s someone who has a hole in his pocket sending us a message to get to a tailor ASAP.

And adding to the interpretations is the whole heads up or heads down question, and what date the coin was found on question.

To me finding money on the ground means good luck because, hey, it’s money, right?

Because I wanted to keep all my good luck I decided not to spend it, but to put all of that found money into a jar and turn that jar into a ‘Good Luck Jar’.

And then there was the day I found a quarter on the ground and when I bent over to pick it up I threw my back out and couldn’t stand up straight and without pain for a week.

That was the last time I looked for good luck in found money.


For GirlieOnTheEdge‘s Six Sentence Stories for June 9th.


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