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Can they see me?

October 5, 2021

From Charli Mills at the Carrot Ranch is this week’s challenge.

September 30, 2021, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story uses the phrase, “across the water.” It can be any body of water distant or close. Who (or what) is crossing the water and why? Go where the prompt leads!

Can they see me?

Crisp October morning. Steam fog rises and swirls like smoke over the marsh. The wispy veil slowly moves across the water following the sun’s lead while a group of Canada Geese, hidden in the cattails and bulrush, honk and bark.

I see faces in the swirling steam. Faces of loved ones long gone. Can they see me?

The sun rises, the air warms; the steam fog slowly melts.

If I knew it to be true that we see those who have moved on in an afterlife, I’d close my eyes and lie down now.

I miss you that much.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. October 5, 2021 9:54 am

    Our MN morning fog inspired you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. October 5, 2021 6:51 pm

    Gulp. Loved the imagery and then those last two sentences… ow.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. October 6, 2021 6:30 pm

    The driving pain of grief and the tender wish of mourning.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. October 7, 2021 8:59 am

    Oh my gosh! What an impressive and poignant 99-word piece. Well done and I may never look at fog and water again without thinking about lost loved ones. Wow, Michael B.

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 15, 2021 6:20 am

      Thank you Nancy, I appreciate the comment. Water is a mystical thing. I can’t figure out why but that’s ok!


  5. October 7, 2021 4:49 pm

    Oh how beautifully heartbreaking Michael. Water tends to have that impact.

    Liked by 1 person


  1. Across the Water « Carrot Ranch Literary Community

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