Parodies (Terrible Poetry Contest)

This is The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest, v. 14 and you can play along by clicking HERE. That’s right, you can play along just by clicking HERE!

This week’s topic is: Satirical Pop Song and Chelsea tells us to “Parody a specific one if you want, or go your own way.”

This was an interesting prompt for me because I grew up listening to Alan Sherman who, with all due respect to Weird Al, was, and will always be, the master of the song parody. I think I owe some, if not most, of my love of puns to Alan Sherman, and whatever’s left after him would go to MAD Magazine. So because of that the prompt was exciting. But I don’t listen to commercial radio anymore so my only experience with modern pop artists is when I see them on the news being arrested or I see them on the news after doing or saying something outrageous. But I used to listen commercial radio a lot and I’m a child of the 60’s and 70’s so here goes . . .

Disclaimer: writing a full song parody takes a lot of work and I’m still reeling from last week’s ‘lazy’ prompt/theme so rather than writing a full song parody, I went with a medley of some favorites.

My titles are followed by the original song titles with links to the videos on YouTube in parenthesis.

Bird Drips Keep Fallin’ (Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head)

Bird drops keep falling on my head,
and just like guy whose head is not really too big I never wear a hat,
those bird drops keep falling on my head and I’m bawling.
Because they smell, and they don’t smell very well.

= = = =

Just Pay Me (Let it Be)

When I find my teeth feel like loose rubble,
Dentist Mary comes to me speaking words of crowns and
“Just pay me, just pay me.”
And when I hear the drilling she is standing right in front of me,
“I’ll save your teeth of wisdom, just pay me, just pay me.”

= = = =

The Buffet (A Horse With No Name)

On the first leg of the buffet I was looking at all the rice.
There was brown and white and jasmine too
all this food for just one low price.

At the first stop on the buffet I was holding a sharp steak knife
There was strip, T-Bone and sirloin too
all this food who needs Herbalife?

I’ve been through the buffet with a plate in my hand
the beans were cold but I didn’t complain.
At the buffet you can eat ‘till you puke
until your belt it can’t stand the strain.

= = = =

My Dear Ottoman (Mrs. Robinson)

And here’s to you, my dear ottoman,
seize my bottom with your wired spring coils
Woo, woo, woo.
Oh if you please, my dear ottoman,
I hope your fabric never fades away
Hey, hey, hey.

I’d like to know a little bit about your plushy piles
and how they always manage to soothe mine.
I sit on you for hours and I stand up with a smile
stroll around the house until I sit again.

= = = =

(My apologies forever more to the King and his fans)
Ambitious Kinds (Suspicious Minds)

I just caught the clap, from some gal I met.
Why did I think I loved you baby?

Why can’t you see, what you’ve given to me?
How will I ever tell my family?

We can’t get back together, this penicillin’s mine.
And we can’t get together, until the doc says you’re fine.

= = = =

Brainy Gals and Sundaes (Rainy Days and Mondays)

Walkin’ by myself and feeling cold.
Sometimes I will admit
to feeling like I just don’t fit.
Lookin’ around,
Trying not to feel cast down,
brainy gals and sundaes always get me down.

What I’ve got to do is lift my mood.
Tell myself it’s not my fault,
forget the sundae, drink a malt.
Lookin’ around,
sad eyes and a broken frown.
Brainy gals and sundaes always get me down.

Funny but it seems I always crave a barbecue.
Nice to know somebody’s cooking.
Funny but it seems that when I wake up and come to,
she is still so darn good looking. (So darn good loooooooking)

What I feel I can make go away.
But ice cream makes me want to pout
and brainy gals I can’t sort out
Moping around,
feeling like I’ve just been drowned,
brainy gals and sundaes always get me down.

= = = =

Traction (Satisfaction)

I can’t get no, tire traction.
I can’t get no, tire traction.
Tires spin, and they spin, and they spin and they spin
I can’t get no . . .

When I’m drivin’ in the snow,
and the weatherman’s saying what I already know;
he’s supposed to bring back warmer weather –
supposed to clear up icy roads.
I can’t get no . . .  No traction.

= = = =

That Tea Cozy (Cracklin’ Rosie)

That tea cozy I adore.
Keeps my tea warm till there ain’t no more to pour,
I’m sipping it slow,
lord don’t you know.
Have me some fun with a cup of oolong.

Twitching from too much caffeine.
Ain’t nothing wrong I just had one cup too much,
this tea it’s my crutch,
to drink, slurp and such.
Don’t need no more ‘cuz this tea it keeps me going.

Oh, I love my oolong tea, man.
It’s got the snap to make me happy.
Tea and me we drink in style, man.
My tea cozy, you store bought cover,
if you weren’t made of cloth I’d make you my lover.
So keep my tea warm and we’ll keep on drinking onnnnnnnn.

Pour it now… pour it now… pour it now my cozy.

= = = =

That’s it!