For Valentine’s Day

Hi and Happy Valentine’s Day to you. That’s all I’ll say about Valentine’s Day because to say more might make you think, “Damn, but this guy is a bit of a curmudgeon, isn’t he?”

And of course I wouldn’t hear you say that because you’d be thinking it and even if you were to say it out loud, we’re separated by miles and miles and miles of space so I’d never hear it.

But if I could hear it, or if I could read your thoughts, I would say, “Not really a curmudgeon.” and then I’d start to tell you my tale of woe and heartbreak and I’d stop and say, “Oh, but you don’t want to hear this tale of woe and heartbreak on this day of love and devotion.” and you’d probably say (or think), “Oh, but no, I do want to hear your tale of woe and heartbreak so please, go on.” And I’d say, “Really?” and you’d say (or think) “Really!” and so, after looking deep in your eyes (or your thoughts) to assess your sincerity, I would bare my soul with my story of woe and heartbreak and tell you about the period of my life when I was in love with a reptile. Don’t make a face, it’s ancient history and it’s over and I know, it sounds odd. Who loves reptiles in that way, right? and the doctors that treated me for herpetoamouria thought the same thing, but it was what it was and what can I say, I was a kid and it was a phase. Anyway, she was a beautiful yellow lizard and there was something about those eyes of hers that could move independent of each other that just sent me swirling. I knew there were problems. I may not be fortunate enough to have stereoscopic visions, but I’m not blind. I saw the problems and I ignored them thinking they’d disappear like the flies I would put out for our her dinner. They didn’t, and one evening in early May she crawled out the door. “Stop,” I pleaded. “Please come back!” But with one eye on the door in front of her and another eye on me standing behind her, she kept on crawling. Whether it was because she didn’t care or because chameleons really don’t hear very well I don’t know, but as I watched her carefully walk out the door and into the tall grass of our front yard I said to her, to myself, to the heavens and to anyone who could hear me, “I love you. I’ll always love you. You . . . you . . .  you . . . you’re one in a chameleon.”

So that’s that.

I hope you have a nice day.

Here’s a song of lost love for Valentine’s Day. “It may never be enough.”