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Valentine’s Day (Terrible Poetry Contest)

February 12, 2019

If you’d like to write terrible poetry then go to Chelsea’s Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest by clicking right HERE. Go there and read some and write one and then come back and read mine.

Topic: LOVE POEM. A sonnet, preferably, but go where your heart tells you.

As always, make it terrible! I want your intended to cry as s/he reads what you’ve ardently penned -and for neither of you to know if they are tears of joy or pain.

Mine isn’t a sonnet. And it ain’t got Blue Bonnet on it. But here is my terrible love poem:

For My Babe on Valentine’s Day

What I won’t do for you – –

Those jeans you think are too tight: they are. But I won’t tell you because I care that much. And really, what difference does it make if you have a fat ass?

I’m the only one looking at it and I’ve never expected perfection.
And besides, you’re a good cook and I don’t want to mess that up.

Your hair: I guess I don’t mind the gray.
It is what it is, hey.

I will always do what I can to make you happy.

When I kiss you, your breath sometimes smells.

It’s like pepperoni mixed with that sour smell
of milk that’s been in the fridge too long.
I don’t say anything but it makes me
wonder if you’re not due for a
teeth cleaning.

Sure, you have faults; who doesn’t? But it’s OK because you let me watch baseball games and you don’t bug me too much with household stuff.

And you don’t make me clean up after the dog. Actually – and not to dwell on your breath – but pepperoni and sour milk and the dog when he’s wet.

Anyway – –

Happy Valentine’s Day

I really like you.

= = = =

3 Comments leave one →
  1. February 14, 2019 12:19 pm

    This soooo terrible, Bruce. Let me know how this love poem goes over with your babe, okay?

    Like

  2. February 15, 2019 6:04 pm

    ^I hope you didn’t ACTUALLY recite this to your sweetie. 😀 I think I nearly ground my teeth getting through it.

    Liked by 1 person

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  1. WINNER of the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest | Chelsea Ann Owens

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