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Don’t Skippy Over Me (or I’ll Be Back in a Jif) – Terrible Poetry Contest

January 28, 2019

This week, Chelsea’s Terrible Poetry Contest inspiration is: Diamond in the Rough. Think you can be a terrible poet? If so, then go HERE to play along.

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Don’t Skippy Over Me (or I’ll Be Back in a Jif)

I like chunky peanut butter sometimes –
and sometimes I don’t.

Ask me why,
or don’t,
(I don’t care)

Peanut butter’s rough.
The chunks? A diamond in the rough.

That’s because I like peanuts and . . .

It’s not even butter!

Once upon a time there was a peanut farmer who became President. A giant named Fezzik came along and asked if he wanted a peanut. The President-to-be said no, but he asked the giant where he could fill up his empty peanuts. The giant didn’t know, but some other guy – I can’t visualize him so neither will you – came along and said “I know!” The President-to-be said, “Where?” and non-visualizable man said, “The Shell station!”

And they laughed.

And the peanuts laughed.

“Ha!” they all laughed

Laughter is like a diamond.
(I don’t know why but it makes for an interesting simile)
Life is just rough
(That’s not a simile, I don’t know what it is)

We eat peanut butter
and watch the butterfly flutter.
From the golf putter to the stonecutter
Some of us put it on bread and eat it with that white stuff that drips from a cow’s udder.

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A toe-tapping song that mentions a girl with a diamond.


9 Comments leave one →
  1. February 1, 2019 2:08 am

    Dizzyingly terrible entry! I think you’ve aced it!!


  2. February 1, 2019 12:17 pm

    Congratulations on winning, Michael!! This is pretty terrible to read through!


    • Michael B. Fishman permalink*
      February 6, 2019 7:10 am

      Terrible is my middle name! Aim low and one is generally never disappointed!


  3. Ennle Madresan permalink
    March 21, 2019 1:17 pm

    I’ve been up all night, so am at that “silly tired” stage–thus I clicked on this post’s title immediately…and you didn’t disappoint, I love it 🙂



  1. WINNER of the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest | Chelsea Ann Owens
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