The Monday After: It’s Still Hot in Hell

Here’s a joke that probably every Minnesotan over the age of 15 has heard in one form or another and after yesterday’s Vikings/Eagles game I thought it was appropriate to share it with folks outside of the state.

Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident and go to Hell. The Devil observes they are really enjoying themselves so he says to them, “Doesn’t the heat down here bother you two?”

“Vell, ya know,” Ole says. “Ve’re from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve’re yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.”

The Devil, unhappy that these two aren’t miserable, leaves them in their room and goes off to turn up the heat in Hell. When he returns to check in on the two Minnesotans a few hours later, he finds them sitting in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer.

The Devil is astonished. “Everyone down here is in misery yet you two seem to be enjoying yourselves? What’s wrong with you?”

Sven says, “Vell, ya know, ve don’t git too much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve’ve yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather’s dis nice.”

The Devil is so furious now he can’t see straight. The two Minnesotans love the heat because they’re so used to being cold so the Devil decides to turn the tables and turn off all the heat in Hell. The next morning the temperature in Hell is 60 degrees below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so violently no one is able to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The Devil smiles and heads for Ole and Sven’s room and when arrives he finds the duo back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens and they’re jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like wild men.

The Devil is dumbfounded. “I don’t understand,” he says. “When it’s hot you’re happy and when I turn up the heat you’re even happier and when I turn the heat off so it’s freezing cold you’re happier still. What is wrong with you two?”

Ole and Sven look at each other and then at the devil and Ole smiles and says, “Vell, don’t ya know dere, if hell iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl!”

Psychiatrist Carl Jung said, “Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word “happy” would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” so I figure that after 29 unsuccessful playoff appearances, four Super Bowl losses and losing their last six NFC Championship games, Minnesota Vikings fans must be among the happiest people on the planet.

I am not a professional football fan so I don’t share that particular brand of Minnesota happiness, but what does make me happy this snowy morning is this important news: pitchers and catchers report to Ft. Myers on February 12th which means that Spring Training in only 20 days away! Go Twins!