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The Visitor – Saturday Writing Essential

August 7, 2014

Saturday writing Essential – This Week’s Challenge:

I want you to create a fantasy world. It can be a past or future society here on earth or can be located somewhere else. It can be completely fantasy or it can be earth with some kind of twist.

Describe your world. You don’t need to actually write the story, just give us an idea of what this world is, where it is, who the characters are, and what the rules are. You can either describe or outline it.

Using prose or poetry, tell us about your fantasy world.

For information on how you can play along with the Saturday Writing Essential go here-> How to participate in the challenge

* * * *

The Visitor

Standing at the back of the filled auditorium, field reporter Art Crosley surveyed the situation for his audience at home and in the studio.

“Chris, I’m on location here at the United Nations waiting for the Fan-Shim ambassador to address this assembly of gathered dignitaries. As best I can gather, no one knows why he’s here or how he got here. Forget those alien invasion scenes we’ve seen in movies, Chris, the ambassador simply appeared out of thin air here at 760 United Nations Plaza and walked into the building where he . . . wait, here he is – Jeff get the camera on him.”

The cameraman turned and focused in on a tall being of indeterminate gender making his way from the left of the stage. The figure moved smoothly, gliding as opposed to walking, and those sitting in the front rows of the auditorium stared openmouthed, so moved by the ambassador’s air of elegance. The figure stopped at the dais.

“My appreciation to your world’s assembled leaders, educators and scientists. I know many of you would have preferred your first contact be from a race similar to those found in your fiction; a race similar maybe to those from Z’ha’Dum or Tralfamadore. I cannot offer you such fantasy and we Fan-shi understand your disappointment as it is a feeling we have experienced in abundance since arriving on your world over 2,000 years ago.”

“During our first visit you were but seeds on the skin of this planet and not yet ready for our guidance. We understood we were too early but before we left, we transferred grains of knowledge and awareness to those among you we felt possessed the imagination to nurture such new awareness. We left and we waited.”

“We visited, unseen, over the last 2,000 years. Caring only for your individual development, we resisted guiding you in any one direction. We trusted that the knowledge we did leave you with in the beginning would be enough. We were wrong.”

A thin appendage snaked from beneath the ambassador’s gown. The arm raised and a translucent screen appeared behind him. A second appendage appeared and the lights dimmed. The ambassador’s voice rose.

“On Fan-shim, disappointment is a foreign concept. We conceive of the notion of disappointment, but the feeling has been removed from our society for millennia. Since our return to your Earth, we have observed disturbing events and behaviors and patterns occurring at an alarming rate. These events and behaviors have shown us that despite our earlier hopes, you have not developed with the parallel evolution that we had hoped, but have instead developed along a different, and distressing, path. While no world is perfect, Fan-shim exists in a state of grace and tranquility that is missing from your Earth.”

On Fan-shim we do not wage war or fund militaries. We do not oppress. We do not destroy habitat.”

The ambassador’s arm twitched and glowed yellow and a picture appeared on the screen behind him.

“We care for nature and do not let our plants exist in a state near death.”


Another twitch and the arm glowed brighter and the picture changed. “We do not litter.”


Another twitch. “We do not soil our public streets and

Spit on the Sidewalk

we do not leave our trash like spoiled children expecting others to remove it for us.

Trash on Shelf

And we do not, under any circumstances, leave our brothers and sisters alone in the world or force them into desperate situations where they must beg for sustenance and life.”


The ambassador’s arms recoiled back under his robe and the screen disappeared and the lights returned.

“We have experienced disappointment at an alarming rate since our return among you and we are not happy. I have chosen to appear in front of you and inform you that we have been here and we have observed. We have loved you and cared about you, but would not care for you. We will not abandon our hope for you but we will leave you again with confidence that you will have changed your direction when we visit again in another 2,000 years.”

As if on cue, nearly 1,800 voices rose as one. Some shouting questions, some filled with outrage, and other simply crying. The arms reappeared and the crowd was silenced.

“It is spoken,” the visitor said and disappeared.

* * * *

Last week’s submissions. Please check them out.

Servicing Your Toyota Vehicle: Saturday Writing Essential    by Michael Fishman

How to Change the Loo Roll | The Zombies Ate My Brains   by Maggie Wilson

On How To Shave Your Legs When You Are Middle Aged      by Kirizar

7 Comments leave one →
  1. August 7, 2014 1:35 pm

    I like the concept, I always like the potential for redemption. I will make one comment, it is probably just my take on the above. When the alien comments on the devastation committed by humans there seems to be an equal value to the horror perpetrated. But, I would argue that there is a vast difference between war and littering. Maybe it would work to have horror match horror. Otherwise, the speech seems to lose some momentum, turning from a wise lesson into something that cranky elderly might say.


    • Michael B. Fishman permalink*
      August 12, 2014 4:50 am

      Thanks for reading and for the comment kirizar. I see what you’re saying and I agree but what I was trying for was a visiting race that was so evolved that to them there was no distinction between different elements of life. The death of a person through war was just as horrible as the (slow) death of nature through littering. That’s what I tried for with “…we do not wage war or fund militaries. We do not oppress. We do not destroy habitat.” and rereading it now I can see where I could have made that idea clearer.


  2. August 7, 2014 1:36 pm

    Sigh, I meant an ‘unequal’ value to the horror, not ‘equal’. Adjust your brain accordingly.


  3. August 8, 2014 1:45 pm

    Michael, this is awesome writing.


  4. maadmaax permalink
    August 10, 2014 6:19 pm

    That’s fantastic, Michael, and as kirizar pointed out, the idea of war and littering being equal is completely alien to our way of thinking. That was the whole point of developing a fantasy world and you did exactly what I wanted to read.

    As an aside, I’ll have to admit that your initial description of the ambassador brought up the image of the “other” ambassador in “To Serve Man.”


    • Michael B. Fishman permalink*
      August 12, 2014 5:08 am

      Thanks Len! It’s funny, but despite all the special effects and computer generated stuff nowadays, my image of an alien always goes back to someone who looks like Richard Kiel or Ted Cassidy.



  1. WESat: August 9, 2014 – What the Author Really Meant | Writing Essential Group

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