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Can I borrow your pen?

March 28, 2014

Can I borrow your pen?”

You really don’t know how much I hate those words. I would rather give you a dollar to buy yourself a pen of your own than loan you my pen.

Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I probably hate, “I want to shake your hand” more than “Can I borrow your pen?” but no one ever says that. Hand shake offerings are pretty much all non-verbal; someone just shoves a hand in your face and expects you to shake it, so “Can I borrow your pen?” is still at the top of the list. But the hand-shake offer is probably #1 on my non-verbal gesture list. Unless it’s the arms-open-wide-give-me-a-hug gesture. That’s a close one.

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So, now I have a perfectly unusable pen if anyone wants it. It’s a good pen. Or was. Ball point, medium tip, black ink and lots of it. Never once leaked. It’s got a good ergonomic grip and a nice, wide pocket clip. It’s also got Mr. “Can I borrow your pen?” ‘s essence all over it. Let me know and it’s all yours. Essence and all.

Sometimes the best advice in the world comes from the cheesiest of sitcoms.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 28, 2014 11:21 am

    …OR you could just wipe the damned pen off with alcohol after it’s returned if it’s germs you’re worried about, Michael and then you’d have your perfectly good pen back! And as for the hand shake, take my advice and SHAKE the hand, and then after you can pull out a little pocket size bottle of hand sanitizer and discreetly use it when the hand shaker has moved on. By doing both of these things you gain good will and won’t risk alienating someone who might remember your reluctance to share/shake. Oh and Michael, if we EVER meet…does this mean I can’t hug you after all we’ve shared over the years? 😉

    CELT (Jan)

    Like

    • Michael Fishman permalink*
      March 30, 2014 12:08 pm

      Wiping is good but it’s also the presumptuousness of the asker. And you can always hug me, Jan! You’re on the official approved list of accepted huggers!

      Like

      • March 30, 2014 2:08 pm

        Yes presumptuous it may be but sometimes a necessity (like a person’s own pen won’t write or even digging to the bottom depths of my black hole of a purse doesn’t produce the pen that SHOULD be there!). As for being on your list of approved huggers…aw, I’m touched, LOL 😉

        Like

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