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Friday Fictioneers: Into the Light

March 7, 2013

It’s Friday Fictioneers time. Like to write and want to play? Then just click here.

This week’s vertigo-inducing photo prompt courtesy of Jennifer Pendergast



Into the Light

I like staring into the light at the top of the stairs. I stare, and then squeeze my eyes
and see the colors. Red’s my favorite.

The red is wet.

Sometimes I don’t eat, and when they make me, I close my eyes and see them in red.

And I can taste them.

Don and Tami, they don’t know where I am. Don’s mean but Tami. she’s my friend. I
say she’s my girlfriend and she smiles. I like that. If she didn’t laugh I still wouldn’t hurt

“Hello, Dwight. Ready to go back upstairs?”

“I’m ready, Doctor Tuft.”


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18 Comments leave one →
  1. March 7, 2013 8:33 pm

    I love it. I love it! That is all I can say. Just perfect little vignette.
    Good work,


  2. March 7, 2013 9:30 pm

    very original take


  3. March 7, 2013 10:23 pm

    Dr. Tuft is nice. He doesn’t let Don hurt me. Plus he walks me back upstairs where I won’t slip on the red and encourages me to eat.

    You created a world of insanity well, transitioning the reader back to reality, and for the main character a tenuous one at best. Nice job. I recognize that world well for many years of working in psychiatric institutions as a social worker (although some may argue that I have been on both sides of the fence).



  4. March 8, 2013 7:15 am

    This is simply chilling. The voice is convincingly disturbed, and menacing at the same time. Really enjoyed it.


  5. March 8, 2013 7:47 am

    That’s very realistic in its rambling monologue of insanity. Really good job.


  6. March 8, 2013 10:22 am

    Very well done! Chilling and sad at the same time.



  7. March 8, 2013 10:49 am

    Eerie and powerfully written.


  8. March 9, 2013 2:58 am

    Dear Mike,

    You placed us deep inside the warped mind sitting waiting in the hospital. i for one am glad he’s in there and i’m just reading. Well done.




  9. March 9, 2013 4:50 am

    Very original. Completely insane. I love the wet red – brilliant stuff.


  10. March 9, 2013 6:00 pm

    Well, that was interesting….


  11. March 9, 2013 10:27 pm

    Gave me the chills Mr. Fishman.


  12. March 10, 2013 3:21 am

    Dear Mike,
    You’ve packed a powerful picture of insanity into a tight (padded?) space. Not one word out of place. Bravo!


  13. March 11, 2013 2:36 am

    That was unexpected! What a take on the prompt! Wow!


  14. March 11, 2013 1:37 pm

    Enjoyed the contrast between the everyday (squeezing eyes to see red) and the different (And I can taste them). I’d like to hear more from this character.


  15. March 11, 2013 5:08 pm

    This is a really special glimpse into a “different” mind. Who’s to say he isn’t right about the red?


  16. March 11, 2013 6:41 pm

    I like the sensory descriptions here. It’s almost synaesthetic.


  17. March 12, 2013 7:24 am

    This story gave me the shivers!
    Well done,


  18. March 15, 2013 10:56 am

    Oh that was very good – wonderful! You need just the right actor to play that just right!


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