It was… I was… we were… bare

When: Yesterday
Place: My kitchen
Time: Dinner time
Scene:  Me rummaging through cupboards and the cupboards were bare

Yeah, so the cupboards weren’t totally bare but there was nothing in there I could use to make what I would call a good meal. A can of Campbell’s Beef Consommé, a jar of Mount Olive Sweet Gherkins, a plastic tube of Manischewitz Split Pea and Barley soup mix, cans of different types of tomatoes, different noodles, a box of Betty Crocker’s chocolate chip muffin mix, a can of Pillsbury coconut and pecan cake frosting (which is really German Chocolate cake frosting but for some reason Pillsbury calls coconut and pecan frosting), crackers and spices. Likewise, the refrigerator and freezer offered nothing inspirational or satisfying.

Not even any bread.

I’m usually not like this. Anyone who knows me, which is an admittedly small group, knows I always keep a lot of food in the house. I have no explanation as to why I had nothing last night. Blame it on a bad biorhythms day.

It wasn’t a total bust. The cupboards, like I said, weren’t completely bare and in them I found a can of Hormel Vegetarian Chili with beans. In the freezer I found a frozen pizza crust and the refrigerator coughed up some cheese that didn’t smell. Armed with these three items I did what any sane person did and I went out to eat! No, I didn’t! I looked at those three things and wondered how bad a chili with beans pizza could be and deciding it couldn’t be that bad I laid out the crust, added a little ketchup in lieu of sauce, dumped on the shredded, non-smelly cheese and then spooned on the chili with beans topping and swirled it around and put it on to cook.

Result: It wasn’t very good. In fact, it bordered on bad. Just to be clear though, the pizza crust I linked to above, the one from Golden Home Bakery Products, isn’t to blame. Their “Ultra Crispy & Ultra Thin” crust is the best commercial pizza crust I’ve ever eaten and makes pizzas that are better than some restaurant pizzas and most frozen pizzas. It was just the cheese, chili and ketchup combo that wasn’t the greatest.

For dessert I had some popcorn. Whether or not I danced like this while I was waiting for the popcorn is a question best left to your imagination.