Bless You

While I was sitting in a typically uninspiring and blandly decorated Panera this morning I saw someone sneeze. He was, as fashionable Minnesotans are wont to do, sitting outside in the sun and heat and I, always sensible, was sitting in the shady and air conditioned restaurant. I was looking at the people sitting outside thinking about why bright sun and heat make for a better eating experience when this guy drew my attention by sneezing.

He sneezed three times and what made it bad from my perspective was his sneeze cover. You’ve all seen the “Cover Your Cough” signs, right? You can get them here for free if you want. I have them all and I’ve got them posted all over my house, at least one in every room, as a personal reminder, but you might be happy with just two or three. Yes, they’re signs for coughing, but the same principle applies to public sneezes as well.

Anyway, you’re familiar with the sign and you know you’re supposed to sneeze into your sleeve, or elbow if you don’t have a tissue (that’s always been confusing for me because who doesn’t always have a tissue with them) and this guy didn’t think to use a napkin and he was wearing a t-shirt so he didn’t have a sleeve so he chose to sneeze into his elbow. Good for him, only he didn’t really sneeze into his elbow. What he did – and I was able to see this because of the angle of my seat – was raise his bent arm and turn his head away from the person he was with and lower his head toward his elbow and sneeze. While the gesture probably looked good to everyone else, I was able to see his mouth and his round lips making the “chooooo” part of the sneeze a good three inches above his elbow. You read that right: above his elbow. It was, friends, a non-cover. An open sneeze.

Thankfully he was outside. Thankfully for me, that is. I don’t know what will happen to the other half-dozen or so customers also sitting outside.