How to Meet Women

I was thinking: what’s the best way to meet women?

What kind of question is that, you’re asking yourself. Why would a ruggedly handsome guy like you – an International Man of Mystery – need to think about meeting women. Surely you must have women throwing themselves at your feet whenever you leave the house, you’re saying, so this should be the last thing on your mind. Well, yeah, I mean that’s all true and stuff, but I’m thinking about this for guys who might be less fortunate than myself, you know?

So what are two things women like? I figure it’s dogs and babies. I’m not going to get a dog and I can’t have a baby. I can act like a baby although I’m not sure that’s a good thing to advertise, but what if I could smell like a baby? It could prove to be irresistable. I got this idea when I was walking down an aisle at Walgreens and saw a container of Johnson’s Baby Powder. I stopped and looked at it and started thinking. Hmmm, I began my thinking. Women + Women Like Babies + Smell Like A Baby = Meet Women! Really now, could the math be any simpler? Plus, should I decide to go ahead and use the powder, I can not only smell like a baby and raise my Irresistable Factor, but I can also be fresh and dry all summer long. It’s win/win, right? I’ll let you know how it works. I mean I’ll let you know how it works should I actually go back to Walgreens and buy some.

I recently watched the Survivor One World finale and was surprised to find this picture of host Jeff Probst the day after the show. Twins fans rule!