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Prompt: Pet Peeves

January 17, 2012

GBE 2 WEEK #35 Prompt: Pet Peeves

The prompt is pet peeves. Could there have been a better prompt selection for me to write on than pet peeves? Considering my critical, cynical, fussy and sometimes moderately pessimistic nature, probably not. No, pet peeves grow on me like mold on dead wet leaves in the summer, so the problem isn’t picking a pet peeve, it’s where to start. Actually, the biggest question might be how I should rank my pet peeves. For example, should I go with pet peeves that happen all the time, or pet peeves that happen infrequently, but, when they happen, are really peeveworthy? I can’t decide.

Insight of the day: not being able to decide on stuff might be one of my biggest pet peeves about myself.

All right, I’ve got one and at the risk of offending a lot of people, I’m going to take a deep breath and dive head first into the murky waters of peevedom.

I’m sorry parents, please don’t hate me, but your children are pains in the backside. Yes, I know they’re the smartest, cutest, most adorable and charming children on the planet, but from where I sit they’re nothing but an annoyance wrapped up in wispy hair and diapers. They play too loudly, they talk too loudly, they whine too loudly and they cry too loudly. And since I’ve rarely ever see a kid without his finger in his nose, or one that isn’t coughing, they spread way too many germs.

I know it sounds harsh but don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate children, I really like children a lot. They’re really cute in commercials, as well as in some movies and television shows, and I used to love when Art Linkletter would interview children on his television show and I’m a big fan of young adult fiction, so I really do like children. I just like children from a distance. A nice, safe, moderate distance. And with their mouths closed.

So, after that very lengthy justification, one of my biggest pet peeves is germy children acting out of control and making loud noises in public places.

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16 Comments leave one →
  1. January 17, 2012 10:30 am

    I’m in hysterics! Love this! Thanks, Michael!

    Like

    • Michael Fishman permalink
      January 17, 2012 1:10 pm

      Thank you for reading, Maria!

      Like

  2. January 17, 2012 10:58 am

    I am sorry you don’t enjoy opk (other peoples kids). I find myself smiling at almost all kids when I see them, hear them or talk with them. Not to say I don’t get irate when they misbehave in public and their parents think it’s so cute and laugh or whatever, I nearly blow a gasket over that, but I do love opk in small doses. And I find nothing on this earth matches the feel of cuddling a baby, any baby.

    It’s good to know your limitations though and know that you are NOT the ideal babysitter for opk! 🙂

    Like

    • Michael Fishman permalink
      January 17, 2012 1:11 pm

      Yeah, I’m probably not the first choice to call for a babysitter! I’m good with kids in small doses*

      * small doses: a couple of minutes!

      Like

  3. January 17, 2012 12:24 pm

    What’s funny is that I suspect there are a lot of parents who feel the same way you do about other peoples children. I don’t have kids and, while I do like kids just fine, I do have a certain “ick” factor when they are, for lack of a better word, juicy – in attitude and germs.

    Like

    • Michael Fishman permalink
      January 17, 2012 1:13 pm

      Juicy is a good word! There’s always something going on with kids that’s juicy and that’s only the stuff I can see.

      Like

  4. January 17, 2012 12:27 pm

    Michael, I totally agree with you! I have two grown sons, and they NEVER acted like that in public. My pet peeve is when parents sit and drink coffee in public places, or whatever, and allow their children to act like animals. I also hate parents that think whatever their kids are doing is soooo cute. I usually don’t like kids until they are about 18 or so.

    Like

    • Michael Fishman permalink
      January 17, 2012 1:13 pm

      I know what you mean, Mo, and I don’t like that either. It’s like the parents are immune to the noise so it doesn’t bother them but I’m ready to pour boiling water in my ears to drown out the noise!

      Like

  5. January 17, 2012 12:57 pm

    ..and just think… you were one once! You did make me chuckle, Michael. Having had four of my own, and taught countless others, I know exactly what you mean. Case in point being my much beloved and adored (and spoiled) grandson of 18 months. He’s crazy, loud, physical, never still… and it sometimes drives me nuts, no matter how much I love him. The only advantage is… I can give this one back to his mother when it gets to be more than I can take 😀

    Like

    • Michael Fishman permalink
      January 17, 2012 1:15 pm

      I was one once, but my mom says I was always very well behaved and quiet! 🙂 Now that I’m thinking about it, you know what little kids I do like? It’s at the grocery store and they’re sitting in those carts that are shaped like little cars and they’re playing like they’re driving. I like that.

      Like

  6. Elaine LK permalink
    January 17, 2012 5:43 pm

    Michael, you’re a man after my own heart. I like kids from a distance as well. Don’t have any of my own, never really wanted any. I love my nieces and nephews, but I’m glad they’re grown now! This was a riot. Thanks for being so honest.

    Like

  7. January 17, 2012 10:14 pm

    Michael, I have two sons, now ages 19 and 14, but let me tell you, I didn’t allow them to misbehave in public because I know how much I dislike it. If they did “break any public rules”, home we went. I was a real stickler.

    There are a lot of people who don’t care for children “up close” and that’s just fine. I have a brother-in-law and a sister-in-law who elected not to even have children. They knew they weren’t cut out for kids. I say to each his/her own.

    Kids are great on TV though, at least you don’t get any germs! lol!

    Like

  8. January 17, 2012 11:23 pm

    I’ve owned and operated a small daycare for decades, so my official stance is that I adore children. All of them. Unofficially, the really do love the little, um, carrier monkeys–most of the time.

    PS: I started the daycare as a way to be with my own kids when they were small, while still making a financial contribution to the household. Mine were raised with a host of honorary little siblings and it was, for the most part, a really wonderful experience for everyone. When she was six, my oldest was a little creeped out by the constant stream of stuff that seems to come out of babies and toddlers, and she wrote the following song:

    Babies are gross little people!
    Yes, babies are gross little people.
    They’re stinky and they’re smelly and they’re not always that cute.
    Yes, babies are GROSS LITTLE PEOPLE!

    It became an instant hit and since then (24 years ago), the bigger kids in the daycare have passed it along to the littler ones, so it lives on. Oh, and my daughter? She’s now 30, married, the mother of two, and a teacher. Circle of life thing…

    Like

  9. January 17, 2012 11:36 pm

    Oh, but you would LOVE my kids! Who am I kidding? If I’m totally honest, there are times I can’t stand them myself. Please don’t give me the bad mom of the year award. It’s just when I have a migraine, it’s probably raining so they are stuck in the house, and are completely stir crazy. I just want to cry. But, I do love them unconditionally, they are my life.

    Like

  10. January 18, 2012 2:12 pm

    My child is the smartest, cutest, most adorable, and charming child on the planet! But she is a freaking walking germ box! I have been sick more often since I’ve had her than I was ten years total before I had her. I love her but she is germy. And there are days when I just cannot take the volume. I am an only child. I was not a loud only child. But my husband is loud. He is constantly making noise. He has passed this trait on to her it seems. I am not used to all the noise and it does get to me.

    Like

  11. drchoneydew permalink
    January 22, 2012 11:28 am

    LOLOLOL yup

    Like

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