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It Don’t Matter To Me

December 6, 2010

I’m not a fan of Bread. Yes, loaves of bread are good, and if you wanted to lay a wad of bread on me I’d flip, but I’m talking about the music group Bread and I’m not a big fan of theirs.

Bread was a soft-rock back from the 70’s. They took maudlin to a new level, combining it with a heavy dose of overly sentimental  Wimpy Guy-ness to create a unique sound that earned them a bunch of Top Ten hits.

Yeah, really. And no, I can’t believe it either.

Generally I don’t spend a lot of time listening to Bread, let alone think about them, but this afternoon I heard a Bread song that I haven’t heard for a long time and I decided right then and there that in the Wimpiest Guy Song category, David Gates and Bread win hands down for It Don’t Matter To Me.

This isn’t a bad song. In fact, it’s kind of appealing in a sickly-sweet, tear-jerker, I’m-so-nice-I’m-annoying sort of way, and who isn’t in the mood for something like that ever once in awhile? For anyone who doesn’t know, the song is basically about a guy who really was into Richard Bach’s quote where he said, “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.” and so he went out and wrote a sappy love song about a guy letting his love leave him. All he wants is her happiness which is nice, so it doesn’t matter to him if she wants to leave to go and find herself, and it doesn’t matter to him if she becomes involved with another guy, just as long as she’s happy and at peace. What a nice guy!

What gets me about the song – and again, it’s not a totally bad song – is the lyric near the end after he tells her how he doesn’t have a huge ego and all that junk when he says, “And it don’t matter to me if your searching brings you back together with me.”. Huh? I don’t get it. If it doesn’t matter to him whether or not she’ll return, then why is he singing the song in the first place? The better question is why am I even thinking about this because it don’t matter to me.

So about that Richard Bach quote, what are your thoughts? Is it really better to let someone you love go with the hope that they’ll one day return, or should you work as hard as you can to hold onto someone you really love?

Here’s the song. Enjoy.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. December 6, 2010 7:11 pm

    If you consider the person you love a possession then the quote is adequate.

    However, I assert that no one is a possession to be freed or held onto – we don’t really control one another.

    The only “possession” any of us have in a relationship are our own emotions. And that is not really anyone else’s problem.


    • Michael Fishman permalink
      December 9, 2010 5:52 am

      I agree with you and that’s the problem with the quote because when he says, “set them free”, it implies (at least to me) that we have control over them to the extent we *can* set them free. I personally think love, however its defined, is worth keeping and fighting for.


  2. December 6, 2010 7:28 pm

    Totally Wimpy-Guy song! But chicks dig that kind of stuff. I can remember cruising around in my 1966 Malibu singing along to it with all my girlfriends. Chicks dig Wimpy-Guy music.


    • Michael Fishman permalink
      December 9, 2010 5:43 am

      So maybe I should be blasting Wimpy-Guy music from my car more often?


  3. CELT permalink
    December 7, 2010 12:00 am

    Overlooking Bread, (and as a girl I did like their stuff back in the day) I want to comment on the “If you love someone…” quote (and I did not know who got the credit for that) it is something I have lived by and it worked for me. When I met my hubby things started moving very quickly for us – we were comfortable with one another right away. We spent a lot of time together in the first couple of weeks and then out of the blue he broke it off with me. I was stunned – it came out of the blue and I was SO SURE he was “the one”. I suspected that he got a giant case of cold feet because of how fast things were gelling for us and I think it scared him. What could I say? I basically told him I didn’t understand but if he felt he couldn’t “do this” then OK. Less than a week later he phoned me up and said he had a few things of mine to return and asked if he could come over. I reluctantly agreed, still smarting from his abrupt breaking off of our budding relationship. But then a strange thing happened. That night when he came over he sat down with me and had a drink and we really didn’t talk – I was subdued and I think he knew I was upset. He put his arm around me and we just sat that way for a long while then he kissed me. I pulled back and told him not to try to start anything he wasn’t willing to finish. He told me he missed me and apologized for breaking it off and said he didn’t really know WHY he did it (claims he doesn’t know to this day). We talked more until he left and when he did he said he’d call me. I thought “uh huh, we’ll see” and said don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep. But he DID call again and after that we were together almost every day. Within a couple of months (if that) we were living together and engaged a few months after that and married the next summer. It’s now been 25 years since I set him free but he came back and next year we will celebrate our 25th Wedding Anniversary. So you see, sometimes when you set someone free they DO come back because they ARE yours despite all the other times someone may never have been yours.


    • Michael Fishman permalink
      December 9, 2010 5:47 am

      I agree that we can’t stop someone from leaving if they want and we can’t make them stay, but I do believe that we have to fight to keep what we love and that’s why I don’t like this song. Not that he let her go out searching for herself, but that it didn’t matter to him if she met someone else. Maybe she’ll meet someone else and maybe she’ll wind up being with someone else, but I don’t think it should be because he didn’t try.


  4. Carole Johnesse permalink
    December 28, 2011 12:13 pm

    Michael–I also answered one of your posts on Goodreads in the Anything Goes group–my name is Carole Johnesse. I have a few years on you but not many–I was born in 1952. After reading your blog and especially the music part-it seems that you and I have a lot in common! For what it’s worth-LOL!! I am not very computer literate and don;t know how to take a song from a music site (youtube for example) and post it somewhere else like you have–but I have a playlist on Youtube some of which I think you might relate to based on what you’ve posted here. (examples: War by Edwin Starr–Eve of Destruction by Barry Maguire–the entire What’s Going On? album by Marvin Gaye and The Times They Are Achanging by Bob Dylan) I think there is a way that you could check out my playlist–just not sure exactly how–maybe you know? I have everything from old soul and r and b-blues–to Dylan! Used to have it all on vinyl and 8 track but it was all lost in storage units over the years-so besides books and reading- my main on-going project is to try and reconstruct my entire music library–all the way back to late 50’s and doowop!! Do drop me a line if you are interested in being friends!


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